If so, than read this blogpost. Because if you sincerely want to learn to become free from hairpulling, this article can hopefully safe you years of frustration and grief by opening yourself up for changing your approach how you go about it, if you or someone you know is struggling with this.
Trichotillomania treatment, how to go about it!
Now if you have visited our website before, you may have noticed that we recently updated our logo and added the text “the most effective help to to stop hair pulling”.
The word ‘effective’ refers to something that works in the real world. And more specifically in this instance, that often goes beyond mere theoretical concepts or conscious understandings to help you change.
When I became fascinated with behavior, I quickly discovered that a lot of behavior for all of us happens subconsciously and it’s that subconscious level (beyond the conscious mind of mere willpower) that is often the decisive factor of what we do, think or how we feel in the moment itself. Often as a result of how we were conditioned as we went through life.
This is also true for Trichotillomania, where the act of hair pulling is something I define as the end- result of everything that has happened to you before as you went through your days.
Not so much consciously, but far more subconsciously by how you processed things, what they meant to you, what you did or did not do, the results you accomplished and how you felt as you went through it all.
Like for example the urge for hair pulling, which is the end-result. A feeling inside, that builds up subconsciously and can become so strong that it will make you pull every single time, no matter what you tell yourself.
Addressing the root cause instead of fighting the symptom of hairpulling itself!
Trying to force yourself consciously to change this through mere willpower or conscious understanding will make things very difficult, if not impossible.
Because the act of hair pulling is the symptom and you need to learn to go back to the root cause, there where it actually all starts or what may trigger it.
So, for example if your beliefs of who you are and what you are capable of doing or learning will not support that what you want and need out of life to feel happy, this will cause inner turmoil and conflict if you are not happy with where you are in life.
And often prevent you from taking the actions that can help you correct what you are not happy with in the first place, until you learn how to change those deeper drivers of behavior that are often the result of your past.
Behavior often start by what we tell ourselves
So sometimes we can have “great stories” what we tell ourselves about what we can or cannot do in certain situation that are based on personal created beliefs that have nothing to do with the absolute truth.
They are often the result of things we experienced in the past, what important others and role models told us or how we were influenced through the media for example.
Like if you try something 3 times and you succeed every single time, chances are this will boost your confidence. And when you have to do it a fourth time, you are convinced you can.
But if you tried sometimes 3 times and failed the first 3 times, that what happened before can be triggered when you have a chance to make it happen the fourth time. In this example, the negative experience from the past can start to work against you and build up anxiety, especially if the desire to go after what you want is still there.
And trying to tell ourselves that we suddenly don’t care and ignoring that desire, would be the same as telling ourselves we are not thirsty and don’t need a drink after four days without any liquid at all. It’s a great story, but who would we be kidding.
Now some people are sometimes not even aware of doing the behavior of hair pulling in the moment itself. They defined it as being in a kind of trance or “zoned out“ (like when watching TV), and only noticed they did if afterwards.
Which only further indicates that to a great extend it’s all “happening” at a subconscious level anyways, especially the buildup of the urge for having to pull your hair.
The cure for Trichotillomania is helping you change your deeper drivers of behavior
This concept of how our subconscious mind is often the decisive factor for behavior but can be influenced to cause misalignment between the conscious and subconscious is also very important to realize if you suffer from Trichotillomania at present.
Where increased levels of tension, anxiety of stress is one of the subconscious behavioral patterns that often causes more hair pulling as a result. Either directly or with a delayed response while reading or watching TV later on for example.
And often very subjective as well. Meaning, very much dependent on the context. So you can be mentally ok with how you feel in certain situations, but build up anxiety in others or feel overwhelmed without actually wanting to.
Which is often the result of “learned” subconscious responses. Or with a fancy way of describing it: a “stimulus-response process” that often happens beyond the conscious mind. Like how completing tasks under time pressure can create different feelings for different people. Where some may get sharper and be better able to focus.
While others can become really stressed, have great difficulty to focus and build up anxiety through sudden thoughts and start to doubt themselves in their ability to do well. All often happening in a split second subconsciously in the moment itself, which can either empower of disempower you.
Realizing that the subconscious is often the decisive factor for all of us in what we do
A normal day example for many people where we could notice that our subconscious is often the decisive factor in what we do is the experience of blushing. Noticing as your cheeks become red and maybe feeling embarrassed by the situation, you can try to stop that from happening in the moment itself by telling yourself not to do it.
But you probably have experienced or can imagine that the blushing only becomes worse than, because what triggers the blushing happens at a subconscious level inside of you, similar like the buildup of the urge for hairpulling.
Also, trying to change this by mere conscious willpower, the next time you will be in the same context, chances are very high that you will blush again without wanting too.
To learn to change something like that if you don’t want that to continue because it does not make any common sense can be very liberating and an important step towards freedom. For which you have to learn how to change – recondition your subconscious behavioral reflexes for moments like these.
Not by telling yourself you should think of feel different next time, but by doing powerful exercises that will help you “recondition” those earlier conditioned subconscious reflexes that can trigger the blushing or trigger the hair pulling. So you can learn to be ok the next time when experiencing situations that could have overwhelmed you before.
And quite effortless by the way in the moment itself, because what triggered the blushing or triggered the hair pulling in the past subconsciously, can now become a stimulus for feeling confident for example when you learn how to do that.
As you can read on the page with answers to frequently asked questions that we have made available for you (see what is unique about your help for Trichotillomania), we heavily focus on helping you at “steering and transform at the core”.
Meaning we help you by going back to the root cause, those subconscious patters that directly but most often indirectly lead to building up the urge for hair pulling.
Helping you going back to the root cause, where it all starts, instead of fighting the symptom of hair pulling itself.
Furthermore by dedicating us to this cause and only focusing on Trichotillomania support for many years, we learned that often people need more intense support with specialized knowledge about specific subconscious behavioral processes that can lead to hair pulling.
Finding spcialized help – therapy for Trichotillomania
However, it is my experience that few, if any, social workers are really specialized and dedicated in helping people with this kind of behavior. They do it ‘on the site’ in addition to many other forms of consultation.
This sometimes contributes to the perception (in my opinion incorrectly) that this is a persistent form of behavior that is difficult to overcome.
Something I wanted to change in this world. Which resulted over time that we came up with the most effective help to stop hair pulling available today.
Through specialized treatment that is aimed at stopping the behavior.
Also, the combination of personal assistance with online programs that we offer to our customers has proven to cause a strong synergetic affect in learning to become free from the behavior of hair pulling.
Which is probably also the reason why we were able to make a difference for so many people already. From people who only pulled for several years, to people who pulled for 50 years or more.
From people who pulled only mildly on one location to people who pulled very intense on any place where bodily hair grows. And everything in between.
If you or someone you know need help with this behavior, simple go here for our first recommended step.
With love and wishing you well,
Rik
