I did not feel very well with the fact that I was compulsively pulling hair out of my head (also known as Trichotillomania) to feel good in a way that I could not explain or control.
But that was short term success, because that behaviour impacted the quality of my life in a negative way.
I knew that apparently millions of people over the world suffer from this problem, which is also referred to as Trichotillomania, but knowing that was not much of help to me personally.
This hair pulling behaviour used to hinder me especially at moments when I was alone.
And then it felt as if I had no control over what I was doing.
Being led by my desire to pull out my hair and afterwards not being happy with the result.
Because it caused me to unwillingly lose hair.
Before I had tried everything to overcome this problem, without any positive and lasting results.
For example, I had tried to always wear something on my head, so I could not reach my hair. But that did not really help, because when the desire was strong enough I would start pulling anyway.
I also tried to completely accept that I was doing this, hoping that it would disappear by itself.
And again, I just continued pulling out my hair.
After a personal breakthrough coaching session for overcoming Trichotillomania with Rik of only 5 hours I can now confirm that I have successfully overcome this challenge, and more. Immediately after the coaching session I felt as if my head had been thoroughly cleaned. Bright. Fresh air. I felt very happy.
The first challenge after that was when I was about to go to sleep at night. That used to be a time when I would always feel the urge. This time I didn’t. Yes, I was tired but in the past that would not make much of a difference. Even when I was very tired I always found the energy to pull out my hair. Not this time. I slept.
Also in situations after that I noticed an enormous change in my behaviour. For example, one day I felt an itch on my head, so I wanted to scratch myself. When I thought about that, I felt afraid that if I did I would pull out some hairs. Because I was physically in the right position for doing that and was also alone.
But when I actually scratched myself I realized that I had no interest in pulling out my hair. I felt an image of trust and freedom surrounding me, at a comfortable distance and in beautiful colours. That was very comforting. It all happened in a split second, without consciously thinking about it. ‘Whoosh’, there it was and it felt good. I now simply continued what I was doing before the itch.
I can say that I feel stronger, happier and lighter than I used to. In the years when I pulled out my hair it felt like there was a particular spot in my brain that was hidden and dirty. In essence, it felt that it did not really hinder me in my daily life; I did everything I had to do and had nothing to complain.
But it also felt if something was holding me back to be who I am and to do what I know I can. Now it seems like that corner of my mind has been thoroughly cleaned. And I feel ready for it. The whole ‘house’ is cleaned and in good condition and there is nothing for me to hide anymore. I don´t want to hide anything. Everybody is welcome.
I am ready to be myself, no longer afraid. Free. I feel confident. Clean in my head. Pleasantly clean. Please enter! You are welcome. This is me. Yeah! I will write books, live and work in Africa, welcome people into my life, inspire, tell stories about myself and others, do what I love to do most!
One of the things I noticed regarding the coaching sessions for breaking through Trichotillomania is that we laughed. Rik has an approach that is sincere and to the point. I had expected that I would be difficult, but it was very easy. I felt supported and understood.
Also the speed of the whole process was something I really enjoyed. No messing around or postponing. Just finding out how my brain works, how I think. I went back to certain moments of my life. We did exercises. There was a lot of variety. I felt supported and at ease. Rik made it easy for me.
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