Special notice: This post is not only meant to educate you on practical behavior psychology, but train you as well on how to change your behavior if you suffer from Trichotillomania.
It´s all about creating breakthrouhs in your life in 3 easy steps.
These are the forces that together can massively change any and every aspect of your life, including overcoming hair pulling!
How to create a breakthrough from hair pulling in less than 3 hours!
This weekend I was participating in an amazing 3 day training here in the Netherlands, one that was very much focusing on creating a breakthrough in your life.
Creating breakthroughs is a fascinating subject and very dear of my heart. Because what I have discovered in life is that 80 % over all our successes are caused by our psychology and only 20 % by mechanics (knowing how to do something).
Because knowing how to do something is certainly important, but by far not as important as your psychology. Because if
you thinking processes (both conscious and subconscious) do not fully support you, it can feel like driving a car with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake.
What is a breakthrough and how does it help you in learning how to stop hair pulling?
Now first, let´s define a breakthrough in general and then explain how it can help you in learning how to stop hair pulling yourself.
A breakthrough is a moment in time when the impossible becomes possible – when you don´t just talk about something, but when you finally take massive action and do whatever it takes to make it happen.
Often it is frustration, anger or stress that triggers a breakthrough. We hit our threshold, a point where we say, ´never again and no more´. Or inspiration strikes: we meet someone or hear from someone who inspires us and that makes us see how life can be so much greater than we ever dreamed possible.
You meet someone who enjoys life fully, overcame one self and is now free in the greatest sense of the word and you decide, I´m as smart as he or she is. I am going to find a way. What was acceptable before no longer is. There is no going back now.
It´s amazing what you can do when you decide to draw a line in the sand, commit to a new goal and set a new standard.
People often say that it took them ´forever´ to make a change. But the truth is, it didn´t take many years for a breakthrough. Because true transformation happens in a moment.
It may have taken you years to get to the point where you were ready, or open, or maybe even provoked. But we all had breakthroughs in our lives, and those breakthroughs happened in a single moment.
We struggle with something for years – a job or a career, our weight or relationship. We are miserable until one day a trigger goes off. Suddenly, ´That´s it´.
´I love you!`
Not within a day or an hour, but in that moment your life changes – and it changes forever.
So if you struggle with Trichotillomania in your life, with the feelings of frustration, anxiety, shame and guilt, constantly wondering if people may notice, that is not what life should be as far as I am concerned. And neither for you I suspect if you are reading this.
So somewhere deep inside you there is a longing, a hope or desire to be free from this, to be free again, feel confident and proud of yourself as a result, then I know there´s a place where you´ve had a breakthrough before.
Take a moment to think of one. What´s an area besides hair pulling you used to struggle with, daily, weekly, monthly, for years even a decade or more, until one day you hit your threshold?
You became inspired, or fed up, enough to finally make a real decision to change this area once and for all! And you took massive and immediate action to make a change.
That´s how breakthroughs happen and how you can make them happen too for overcoming Trichotillomania. But it is important that you understand some more on the three steps to creating your breakthrough.
These are the forces that together can massively change any and every aspect of your life, including hair pulling!
I like to briefly mention them and then focus on one in particular to allow you to start winning.
The 3 steps for creating a breakthrough
1) The right strategy. For Trichotillomania that means ‘what steps to follow and in what specific order’. Or in other words, the roadmap that leads to freedom. As far as I am concerned, this is a real problem in society, because no one ever took the time to study this behavior in dept. And you also need to be highly trained in changing subconscious behavior.
But with great pride I can tell you that as a result of all the people we have worked with and helped over the years, we were able to come up with an approach that can help anybody as far as I am concerned. Because I have seen it happening again, and again and again.
But you need more than that to make it work for you. You need the second part to create a breakthrough as well, and that is ……
2) The power of story. What is it that you tell yourself regarding freeing yourself from this behavior? Now this is really important, because we can show you the right strategy, hold your hand, but at the end of the day, it is you that needs to make that first step to find out how that works for you.
For example, we can show you the way and how other people did it, but if you tell yourself something like ´well, they were just lucky´, how is that working for you to make that first step that can set you free? How is it working for you? If you say you are right, you are, because that is what you will live, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. But if you recognize that in honesty you cannot judge something what you have not even tried, then you open yourself up to the possibility.
That´s all that is needed. To change your story and open yourself up to the possibility. And if you want to go even stronger, why not say something like, well, if they can do it, so can I. The story you tell yourself can be the difference between a life where you are always on the lookout if someone may notice, or living a full life, a life in freedom.
The power of story is incredible and I will share a powerful example below for you how someone became very successful in life, just by telling himself a different story then others may have in the same situation, which allowed him to grow instead of living a half lived life.
3) Your state. This is the way you feel, which is critical to learn to manage at specific times for learning to overcome Trichotillomania. It´s an important step towards freedom that we offer to all our clients.
And your state very much goes hand in hand with the power of story. Because if you feel like hell, you don´t think to yourself, ´Life is beautiful´. Have you ever been really angry with somebody, and suddenly you remembered every freaking thing that person ever did to irritate or annoy you?
When you go into an angry state, it switches on the part of your brain that supports that state, and the story that keeps you there quickly appears. By contrast, if you´ve ever fallen head over heels in love, can you remember how the world looked?
The power of story to move towards freedom from hair puling
Now what do you tell yourself regarding overcoming hair pulling? It often is the result of everything we already experienced in our lives.
For example there were many people who before they contacted us had really struggled with this behavior.
A lot of them also tried ´professional´ help where they had to do things that hardly helped in the end, like trying to reward themselves when they did not pull.
But that is consciously trying to influence something that to a great extend happens subconsciously, which in the end never works for Trichotillomania.
And then after failing again they told themselves something like, ´nothing will work for me because I have tried everything …`. They start to generalize. Why? Because no one can ever say they tried everything, because we simple do not know what´s all out there.
So even if you put the right strategy in front of them, why aren´t they using them? Let me answer that through another example that reveals how our psychology influences our behavior.
Why is it so hard to lose the weight once and for all for those who are obese? Are in some countries the majority of people overweight because the strategy for becoming thin, fit and healthy is really so complex? Is the information hidden and only available to 1 %, or incredibly expensive? Hell, no.
The answers on that topic how to get from where you are to where you want to be is available everywhere: There is a gym with someone who can instruct you within a short drive. There are trainers all over the world, some of which will coach you online, wherever you are!
The web is filled with free advice, and, of course there are thousands of books on fitness and weigh loss available for you to download right now to your iPad or smartphone. You have to work to avoid finding the strategies for becoming fit, strong and healthy.
So what´s the real problem? The answer is, we have to bring in the human factor. When someone has the right strategy in front of her, and she still doesn´t succeed, it´s because she´s missing the second key to a breakthrough, the power of story. ‘It´s only for the rich, the thin, the lucky, the happy’. It´s easy to come up with a limiting story.
So why bother to take action on a strategy that you `know` will fail? Well, strategy here isn´t the problem. Your story is. A half-hearted approach that says, ‘it might work, or it might not ..´. Of course it won´t. That belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
With a disempowering story, failure is nothing less than guaranteed. Which, of course, only reinforces your belief that nothing will work. And so the cycle continues.
But the people who make change happen, who get stuff done, who accomplish, who shift, who grow, who learn, they take their strategy and attach a new story to it: a story of empowerment, a story of `I can and I will` instead of I can´t or I won´t.
It goes from being a story of limitation to a story of empowerment. ´I will not be one of the many who can´t, I will be one of the few who do`.
Now here is a powerful example on the power of story. Sir Richad Branson, chairman of the Virgin empire, has dyslexia, but it certainly hasn´t limited his life in any way. Why? Because his belief or story about dyslexia was empowering, not limiting. His story wasn´t ´I´ll never read,´ it was ´I have dyslexia, so I have to work harder to make everything happen – and I will`. You can use your story or your story can use you.
Creating your first breakthrough from hair pulling!
So here is my invitation to you to help you create your first breakthrough from hair pulling. We have an upcoming free training to help you overcome this behavior.
It´s a real powerful training, with lots of insights, but also practical exercises. Because it is only in doing that you will experience how to do it for yourself, and I am personally going to help you with that.
All you need to do is register for one of the available days and time slots. It will help you change, I guarantee.
So what is your story to register? Is it empowering or disempowering? Or in other words, does it help you towards freedom from this behavior or not?
Now one day you will reflect on your life. When you lie in your bed, in those final moments, you are going to ask some questions.
– How did I live?
– Did I live my life fully or in fear?
– Did I do everything possible for me and my family?
– Did I live life to the fullest?
There is no question that day will come.
So why don’t you prepare yourself now that you like the answers you give then.
I promise you that you will be amazed with what you learn, but more importantly what you are capable off.
Here is a testimonial of someone who turned her story into an empowering one before she registered for a special breakthrough session that we organize for our clients.
This to me this session was very helpful. The most important thing I have learned is that there is a way to keep that hand away from your head!Marielle
With love and wishing you well,